Let Them Help — Even When It’s Hard

In a recent blog, I opened up about the struggle of accepting help as a mother — the quiet tug-of-war between wanting a break and feeling guilty for taking one. But the truth is, this struggle isn’t just about motherhood. It’s about being a woman who has always been the strong one. The dependable one. The one who knows how to hold it down, even when she’s unraveling inside.

A lot of us — mothers or not — wrestle with the same thing:

How do I let others help me when I’ve built my life around helping everyone else?

“I’m Fine, I’ve Got It.”

It’s a reflex at this point. Someone offers to take something off your plate — and without thinking, you say:

• “It’s okay, I got it.”

• “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.”

• “I’m used to doing it myself.”

You say this while your shoulders ache and your mind races.

Because accepting help feels uncomfortable. Vulnerable. Maybe even unsafe.

You’ve been conditioned to believe that strength means endurance, not surrender.

That peace must be earned.

That asking for help makes you look like you can’t keep up.

The Mental Tug

Here’s what no one tells you:

The hardest part isn’t always doing the work — it’s letting go of the need to always be the one doing it.

There’s a voice inside that says:

• “They’ve got their own problems — don’t add to them.”

• “You should be able to handle this.”

• “If you sit down, it’ll look like you’re slacking.”

So instead of letting someone else step in, you stay busy.

You watch others rest while convincing yourself you’re not tired.

You keep moving because stillness feels unfamiliar — and unfamiliar feels unsafe.

You Don’t Have to Earn Rest

But here’s the truth:

You are allowed to receive support without guilt or justification.

Your value is not tied to your productivity.

Your worth is not dependent on how much you carry.

Your softness is not a liability — it’s a birthright.

You don’t have to reach your breaking point to deserve a break.

You don’t have to be in crisis to deserve care.

You don’t have to do it all to be enough.

Let Yourself Be Held

To the strong one reading this:

Let them help.

Let them show up for you the way you show up for others.

Let them carry the bag.

Let them pour the drink.

Let them love you in action — not just in theory.

You are not a burden.

You are not falling behind.

You are human — and humans are not meant to carry life alone.

So the next time someone says, “Go breathe, I got this,” — believe them.

And let that breath be your first step back to ease.